The Knights of the Auto Order Proudly Present: The Auto Body Estimate: Vol. II, #89, March 2009

Kids mature much faster today than they did in the past. I'm sure parents have said this forever, but I know that Erik, at three, is exhibiting a level of smart-Alec-ness that I didn't possess until I was in my teens.

Wakefulness offers way too many possibilities for fun for Erik to ever willingly go to bed, so his best bits often occur as we begin to attempt the descent into La-La Land. One of the landmarks we try to pass on this journey is The Brushing of the Teeth. The process requires Erik to stand on a little footstool in front of the sink. In a dream world he doesn't dance maniacally while he brushes, or otherwise threaten to jam the brush out the side of his cheek or smack his head on the tub in a fall, but we don't live in a dream world.

One night last week he suddenly decided to stage dive to the floor from this bench (with the toothbrush in his mouth). After telling him that's a No No, I explain, in a calm voice, that he needs to have both feet on the stool for this to count as Tooth Brushing. While still lying on his back on the bathroom floor he grins a wicked smile and places the heels of both feet on the stool.

When I protest that he needs to stand up, he stands up - but not on the stool. You get the picture.

One night we made it through the tooth brushing gauntlet only to have him explain: "I'm gonna put the bed away, no, I'll throw it out the window and throw it into the snow!" While I admired the thought process that imagined this would get him out of going to bed, he'd mentioned throwing other things out the window into the snow and I was curious where this concept originated, so I asked: "Who does stuff like that," and he replied: "Me!"

Huh.

On President Obama's first day in office he cracked down on lobbyists. What was he thinking?! Dude's already adding to the skyrocketing employment figures by putting our beloved lobbyists out of work! Oh, wait, I was talking about how my kid's a smart Alec. I wonder where he gets it from...

More troubling is that Erik's baby brother has exhibited similar smart Alec behavior - in the womb! After going well past his due date (until I began suspecting it was all a ruse to get me to marry Becca) Peter Josef Yoho came into this world 43 minutes after Becca's first contraction, and six minutes after she arrived at the hospital (by ambulance). He beat both daddy and the doctor to the scene. What a jolly joker!

When Erik came to meet Peter the next morning he noticed a man tossing a coin into a fountain in the hospital lobby. Erik asked what the man was doing, and I explained that people sometimes throw a coin into a fountain and then make a wish, and sometimes the wish comes true. As Erik was digesting that I asked him what he would wish for and he replied: "a coin."

That's my boy!

Hopefully we'll move past my attempts at Family Circus-style amusement and actually play some music when the Auto Body Experience returns to the Minneapolis Eagles #34 on Friday, March 13th. In addition to being our first gig in two months (having taken a little time for Peter Josef to be born) this will be Doug Rohde's first full night as our new keyboard player, and it's should be big fun as he's burning things up and pushing the rest of us to play better than ever - even those of us who are totally sleep deprived.

As always, there's free parking, no cover, and cheap drinks at 2507 E 25th Street in Minneapolis. We'll start a little after 9:00 PM. Those of you who are children-averse can probably avoid looking at baby photos on our break by feigning a trip the rest room, so fun really could be had by all!

I hope all is well and that we see you there.

Love, Scott Yoho, Grand Pooh Bah, The Knights of the Auto Order

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