The Knights of the Auto Order Proudly Present: The Auto Body Estimate: Vol. II, #71, April 2007

The other day Becca was pleasantly surprised to run into our pal Renee who said she was in town for a Buddhist retreat. I told Becca that I didnít know that Renee was a cobbler, but Becca set me straight: this was more about the soul than the sole. I always get confused about spiritual traditions. I used to figure the cats who recited ďAhhmmmĒ when they meditated were the Amish. Itís a lot of stuff to remember.

Even my most forgetful friends recall that I know even less about politics than I do about spirituality. That said, I think when the history books are written about todayís events, two terrorists will be remembered for doing the most to bog down corporate America and disrupt productivity. Of course I mean Paul Sarbanes and Michael G. Oxley, the previously unknown legislators who thought weíd believe that a shortage of laws is what causes people to act unscrupulously.

As I understand it, the Sarbanes-Oxley Act of 2002 was created and passed in response to accountants cooking the books for the crooks at Enron. The result is that every publicly-traded company now has to hire additional accountants simply to comply with all the stringent guidelines of this bill. Letís see Ė accountants were bad, steps are taken, accountants get more work. Any graduate of dog obedience class will tell you thatís some seriously screwed up behavior management, and is highly unlikely to correct unruly accountants.

Why do I care? It just seems a little frustrating that some thistle-bottoms in Washington get to decide that I need to have my network password changed every other day and that my PC has to lock up when ever I leave to take a pee. Those passwords are HARD to remember! Perhaps Iím over-reacting, but then Iíve always wondered if hyperbole was a college football game sponsored by the makers of Jolt soda.

Unfortunately bad legislation isnít as easily disposed of as soiled diapers. This just got easier at our house where we replaced a broken Diaper Genie with a new Baby Trend Diaper Champ. Itís really nice and easy.

Besides, I rubbed and rubbed that damn Diaper Genie, and all my wishes came out as crap.

Weíll likely play the song ďCrapĒ, plus some older ABE songs we didnít play last month at the Eagles Club on Friday, May 11, starting a little after 9PM (earlier than last time). Weíll also play a never-heard-before tune about Pluto. The band hasnít even heard it yet. Thatís what night-before rehearsals are all about.

Did I mention the Eagles Club? It boasts no cover, free parking, and cheap drinks. Its wood-paneled, friendly vibe is a cross between the early Ď80s Minneapolis west bank scene and your favorite northern Minnesota VFW hall. Strangest of all is that people actually DANCE here Ė even to Auto Body tunes! See it for yourself at 2507 E 25th Street in South Minneapolis or call them at (612) 729-4469. Iíd suggest not mistaking it with the Minneapolis Eagle on Washington Ave. Not that you might not like the place on Washington, Iím sure itís very nice, except for the fact that weíre not playing there.

Love, Scott Yoho, Grand Pooh Bah, Knights of the Auto Order

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