The Knights of the Auto Order Proudly Present: The Auto Body Estimate: Vol. II, #65, October 2005
Had a fortune teller told me in 2003 that I’d be interviewed on NPR's "Fresh Air" by Terry Gross herself this fall, AND that this would pale in comparison to other personal events of this season, I would have freely denounced the clairvoyant as a balderdash-slinging fraud. As both have come to pass, I hope I've learned to be more open to the vast array of possibilities in the universe, and a little more cautious in insulting people who can predict the future (in case they also command other magical powers like the ability to turn annoying disbelievers into newts).
The eclipsing event I refer to was the birth of our first child, Erik John Yoho, on September 12. While other parents loved to endlessly predict the various joys and challenges that would accompany our new housemate, I didn’t realize what a broad education I’d receive right from the start.
Take wet wipes. I knew that wet wipes are frequently used in diaper cleanups. What I didn't know is that there are different kinds of wet wipes, and those marketed under the Armor All brand are, for some reason, sub-optimal for young skin.
I learned that some baby mattresses offer a 35 year warranty, but not why this would be important.
Prior to Erik's birth we attended a day-long birthing class at the hospital, where we were told about things like episiotomies, and it was suggested we create a CD of songs Becca might like to have played during labor. While assembling such a list I Becca informed me that while many Beatles songs are ideal, the Sgt. Pepper track "Fixing a Hole" is not.
I’ve also been very glad to learn that the instinct to never harm your own baby (unintended wet wipes reactions notwithstanding) is very ingrained. If anyone but Erik woke me up several times a night, every night, I would at the very least call them bad names and write scathing song lyrics ridiculing their shortcomings. I have no such animosity towards Erik -- I'm generally glad to see him any time of day or night, although I do suspect that the series of roundhouse punches I dealt the elderly woman who bumped my shopping cart at the grocery store might somehow have been related to the effects of sleep deprivation.
So what hasn't changed? Contrary to Dean White's prediction, I still carry what most would consider an inordinate amount of affection for our dog Snickers, who's been really good and gentle with Erik, and is conscientiously limiting himself to a few hours of licking Erik's face each day. Also unchanged is my annoying habit of booking gigs for the Auto Body Experience and haranguing you all to attend them.
On Friday, October 14 we're at Lee's Liquor Lounge in Minneapolis for what we're shameless enough to call our "Minneapolis CD Release Party". We'll start at 9:00 PM, play a long set, and then (unlike our St. Paul CD Release show) we'll be free to hang out and meet with whoever shows up as we're followed by a group named "The Public Radio Band" (this booking IS an ingenious tie-in with our recent Fresh Air appearance.)
The following Monday we'll be on radio and TV in St. Cloud on KVSC's Monday Night Live, and then on Saturday, November 5th we're back in St. Cloud at the Rox. Details appear below.
Here's my parting bit of parental advice: it never hurts to check our website or call the club before driving across town to a gig. Auto Body plans, like diapers, are subject to change.
-Scott Yoho, Grand Pooh Bah, The Auto Body Experience----------------------------------------------
- Fri, Oct 14 at Lee's Liquor Lounge at 101 N. Glenwood in Minneapolis, in view of the Target Center: 612-338-9491 http://www.leesliquorlounge.com Joining us will be http://www.publicradioband.com
- Mon Oct 17: KVSC's “Monday Night Live” on 88.1 FM and UTVS-Channel 7 or 21 in St. Cloud). For details click on “Monday Night Live” at www.kvsc.org
- Sat, Nov 5th at The Rox -- 506 St. Germain St. W., St. Cloud. www.roxtav.comReturn the Estimate Index...