The Knights of the Auto Order Proudly Present:
The Auto Body Estimate: Vol. II, #32, Sept '97

Our intrepid keyboardist, Mike Dripps, returned recently from a trip to Laguna Beach, California where he witnessed something called "The Pageant of the Masters". This original flake state spectacle included live actors, props and special lighting, and was presented on the stage of the Irvine Bowl. The purpose was to visually recreate images from paintings of the great masters. For example, for the grand finale, they recreated da Vinci's The Last Supper. Not only that, live music accompaniment was also provided. (In fact, the pageant's Maestro has worked with such stars as Helen Reddy and The Captain and Tennille.)

Now that's weird, even for Los Angeles. Mike and I discussed this as we rode our bikes to work the other day. Perhaps because the exercise was depriving our brains of the oxygen they needed to function properly, we speculated that somewhere in California, someone has taken this pageant idea a little further, and decided to recreate, on stage, famous scenes from pornographic magazines. The cast members (so to speak) wouldn't be hard, er, difficult to find in LA, the lighting wouldn't be a big deal, and the music, well let's just say that in all of Hollywood they could probably find a few musicians who were up to the challenge. If they recreated scenes from trashier magazines, they could even employ airbrushers to put in acne and blemishes on the bodies of the actors where none occurred in nature. In fact, they could employ Playboy airbrushers, who've spent their entire careers removing unsightly zits and hair and such, and provide them with a healthy catharsis: by letting them create pimples instead of removing them, they'd finally get their big chance to give something back to the community.

Our personal blemish, The Auto Body Experience, will be part of a pageant at the Cabooze this Thursday, September 11th. Both the other bands on the bill include card carrying members of the "Donald-Fagan-Is-Cool-And-Not-An-Old-Wimp-Like-Some-Kids-In-Baggy-Pants-Said" club: we think both groups are better than swell. I'm pretty sure Spymob is first, then us (around 10:15 or so) with Jon Ken Po finishing off the evening of societal contributions of dubious merit.

We hope to see you there.

-Scott Yoho, Grand Pooh-Bah, Knights of The Auto Order

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