The Knights of the Auto Order Proudly Present:
The Auto Body Estimate: Vol. II, #29, Jan. '97

Seasons Greetings to all Knights of the Auto Order! I had thought to send you all a gag version of the generic photocopied Christmas letter, telling you of my imaginary family's wonderful accomplishments of the past year: Bobby's law degree from Harvard, our new mountain home and steamship, little Susie's tour with Up With People, etc., but I've decided we've all had enough of that. It's been awhile since we last convened, and I've not yet had the opportunity to tell you about the trip Gizmo (my 74 pound mutt) and I took to DOG CAMP.

Last spring, my coworker Mellisa, knowing how well Gizmo and I enjoy the company of other dogs, showed me a magazine clipping advertising a Dog Camp. Like most people, the concept of Dog Camp immediately brought questions to my mind: A.) Are scary vet stories told around the campfire? B.) Is there a Cat Camp across the lake, and do naughty campers sneak there at night? C.) What sort of horrors might be produced at a doggie-dominated arts and crafts cabin? Temporarily pushing these questions aside, I boldly decided that any place where dogs are welcome would a suitable vacation site for me, and sent in my deposit. Subsequently, the summer crawled slowly on its belly as I anticipated a Labor Day weekend of Dog Camp.

When the long weekend finally arrived, Gizmo and I packed the collapsible water dish into the car and headed for the Far East of Wisconsin. After navigating a maze of dusty roads, we arrived at a sign advertising Dog Days of Summer (the camp's name), but to my horror, the sign also had a Vienna Beef logo on it, featuring a hot dog impaled on a stick! The very moment I saw this it occurred to me that I had never asked Mellisa, whom I realized I don't know very well, exactly WHAT magazine she had cut this ad out of. For all I know it could have been Turning Pets To Foodstuffs Monthly , Canine Sadism, or Postal Carriers Revenge Magazine. Cautiously, we crept forward.

To find out how the trip turned out, you'll have to come and ask me at The Cabooze on Friday, January 10th. We'll hit the stage at 9:00 (or earlier) as part of a four band celebration of the Something Fierce CD release party (check the weekly papers or call the Cabooze for details: 338-6425). Something Fierce is an extremely clever/funny/tuneful pop combo, and the creation of this CD was interrupted several years ago by a serious car accident. Now the CD is done, it sounds great, the date is set and YOU ARE INVITED. As Bob Barker used to say: Come On Down!

-Scott Yoho, Grand Pooh-Bah, Knights of the Auto Order

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