The Ministry of Cropaganda Presents the Official Newsletter of The Knights of The Auto Order

Vol II, Nm. 15 The Auto Body Estimate Ep. XXXVII, March '93


It all began at 7th Street Entry. While demonstrating my usual fascinating party-conversation skills, that I mentioned to Matt and his friends that thought my gums were receding. Well, it turned out his pal, Kim, is a dental assistant, and she said I really should visit a dentist. I explained that the reason I put it off was the last time I went, at least two years ago, I was told that I must get my three wisdom teeth removed before my next birthday. So she suggested that I go to a different dentist this time. And I did. The new dentist explained that my gums might be receding a little bit and that it's no wonder -- I'd been "brushing wrong" for over two decades. She then demonstrated the correct method and explained that I needed only to get the one "potentially troublesome" wisdom tooth removed: she saw no harm in leaving the others alone. Huh.

So around this time it began to snow and I graphically realized the disadvantages of having bald front tires on my front-wheel-drive car, so I left it at Tires Plus so they could install a new pair. When I came to pick it up they explained that upon installing the tires, they noticed that I needed new breaks, and recommended that I have it done right away. I thanked them for their concern but said I'd have to wait. A few weeks later, one of my rear tires got a flat so I returned to Tires Plus. This time they informed me that upon fixing my flat, they noticed that I needed an alignment, and recommended that I have it done right away. At first I was pleased that my brakes had apparently healed themselves but then I became suspicious. I finally came to the conclusion that in the rear of the garage, amongst the hydraulic lifts, grease guns and air wrenches, they have a giant Diagnostic Wheel of Fortune® where each customer's needs are determined by one spin of the wheel. One week it might land on brakes, the next on alignment. Then a panicked thought stuck me: what if it landed on wisdom tooth removal?

Luckily, the Auto Body Experience has a similar device, the Entertainment Wheel of Fortune®, and I'm just about to spin it for you. Ah, I see it's landed on the "Auto Body Gigs" category. This implies that your best entertainment bet is to take advantage of one of the following three swell evenings:

Thursday, March 25 at the Cabooze

w/ Rex Daisy and Willie Wisely

Three great bands! We're in the middle. 917 Cedar Av - 338-6425.

Thurs, April 1 at The 5 Corners Bar

w/the Andy Sullivan Orchestra

Hey Paul, Andy's first, so we'll play 2 sets! Cedar Av, W. Bank 338-6424.

Thursday, April 22 at The Cabooze

w/ The Jeff Carpenter Benefit

Lotsa swell bands get together for Something Fierce's Jeff Carpenter - Great Guy, Great Fun, Great Cause, Great Golly, check the weeklies for details!

Here's an important note: We've included a questionnaire with this letter. You must mail it back if you want to continue receiving this mail. It's got a stamp right on it. Act now and receive this special introductory offer!

Love, Scott Yoho, Grand Pooh-Bah, Knights of the Auto Order

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