The Ministry of Cropaganda Presents the Official Newsletter of The Knights of The Auto Order

Vol II, Nm. 15 The Auto Body Estimate Ep. XXXVII, March '93

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It all began at 7th Street Entry. While demonstrating my usual fascinating party-conversation skills, that I mentioned to Matt and his friends that thought my gums were receding. Well, it turned out his pal, Kim, is a dental assistant, and she said I really should visit a dentist. I explained that the reason I put it off was the last time I went, at least two years ago, I was told that I must get my three wisdom teeth removed before my next birthday. So she suggested that I go to a different dentist this time. And I did. The new dentist explained that my gums might be receding a little bit and that it's no wonder -- I'd been "brushing wrong" for over two decades. She then demonstrated the correct method and explained that I needed only to get the one "potentially troublesome" wisdom tooth removed: she saw no harm in leaving the others alone. Huh.

So around this time it began to snow and I graphically realized the disadvantages of having bald front tires on my front-wheel-drive car, so I left it at Tires Plus so they could install a new pair. When I came to pick it up they explained that upon installing the tires, they noticed that I needed new breaks, and recommended that I have it done right away. I thanked them for their concern but said I'd have to wait. A few weeks later, one of my rear tires got a flat so I returned to Tires Plus. This time they informed me that upon fixing my flat, they noticed that I needed an alignment, and recommended that I have it done right away. At first I was pleased that my brakes had apparently healed themselves but then I became suspicious. I finally came to the conclusion that in the rear of the garage, amongst the hydraulic lifts, grease guns and air wrenches, they have a giant Diagnostic Wheel of Fortune® where each customer's needs are determined by one spin of the wheel. One week it might land on brakes, the next on alignment. Then a panicked thought stuck me: what if it landed on wisdom tooth removal?

Luckily, the Auto Body Experience has a similar device, the Entertainment Wheel of Fortune®, and I'm just about to spin it for you. Ah, I see it's landed on the "Auto Body Gigs" category. This implies that your best entertainment bet is to take advantage of one of the following three swell evenings:

Thursday, March 25 at the Cabooze

w/ Rex Daisy and Willie Wisely

Three great bands! We're in the middle. 917 Cedar Av - 338-6425.

Thurs, April 1 at The 5 Corners Bar

w/the Andy Sullivan Orchestra

Hey Paul, Andy's first, so we'll play 2 sets! Cedar Av, W. Bank 338-6424.

Thursday, April 22 at The Cabooze

w/ The Jeff Carpenter Benefit

Lotsa swell bands get together for Something Fierce's Jeff Carpenter - Great Guy, Great Fun, Great Cause, Great Golly, check the weeklies for details!

Here's an important note: We've included a questionnaire with this letter. You must mail it back if you want to continue receiving this mail. It's got a stamp right on it. Act now and receive this special introductory offer!

Love, Scott Yoho, Grand Pooh-Bah, Knights of the Auto Order

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