The Ministry of Cropaganda Presents the Official Newsletter of The Knights of The Auto Order
Volume II, Num. 14 The Auto Body Estimate Episode XXXVI, Jan '93

Yes, the holiday season is now behind us, and it's time to take the Aretha Franklin photo off my front door. I've got some important, personal news to share: recently, Dave Polachek enlightened us as to how my last name, Yoho, is an exclamation of wonder in the Cree Indian tongue. Naturally, this led me to believe that I was somehow Native American in origin, and not Pirate after all. However, I recently have discovered evidence which suggests that my ancestors were from Turdanistan. It all happened when I followed someone's advice, (I think it was columnist Dave Barry), and put a pesky phone salesperson on hold while I took a long shower. Sure enough, when I got back he was still there. And the wait gave him time to reflect on my genealogy: he told me I was a Turd.

Okay, so the real reason I'm writing is that we have a gig coming up right away! The Auto Body Experience plays before The Sizzling Eggheads at the Uptown Bar on Tuesday, January 12th. The Eggheads include guitar great Peter Diggins, Beat The Clock bassist extraordinaire Jim Anton, and an equally swell drummer who, for mysterious reasons, cannot be named here. We also have some tentative dates: we may play a part in KVSC's trivia contest up in St. Cloud on Saturday, February 6th and may play at The Red Carpet on Sunday the 7th. It's somewhat more certain that we'll play Gustavus Adolphus, despite the fact that I'm unsure of it's location, on February 20th with Halibujenkins. (It's always a good idea to call the bar or venue to see who they think is playing.) Finally, I've been confused recently by a "20% OFF" sign I saw in the window of Half-Price Books: Wouldn't this mean they raised the price of their wares? This sounds like some kind of scam to me.

Speaking of scams, have I mentioned that we can provide you with the critically-acclaimed debut CD by The Auto Body Experience for a mere $12, the tape for $8, and the quality t-shirt for $10? Did I mention that postage and handling is only $2 for your entire order, regardless of size? Just send cash, check, money order, or your early Hot Wheels cars to our return address on the other side of this very card. And please come and hear us at the Uptown Bar on Tuesday, January 12 - it's so lonely without you - or maybe it's just seems lonely being around all that black clothing.

Love, Scott Yoho, Grand Pooh-Bah, Knights of The Auto Order