The Knights of the Auto Order Proudly Present: The Auto Body Estimate: Vol. II, #104, May 2011

The Bermuda Shorts Triangle is a region of central Minnesota (formed between St. Cloud, Little Falls, and Milaca) where men have been known to mysteriously disappear, often for hours at a time. While popular culture has attributed these disappearances to the paranormal or to activity by extraterrestrial beings, outlandish theories exist as well.

One such hypothesis notes that between St. Cloud and Little Falls there appears to be an inordinate number of two seemingly unrelated businesses; adult bookstores and recreational vehicle dealerships. What's more, they are easily confused as both employ similar naming conventions. My personal favorite example is an RV business named "Pleasureland."

As I have long been a fan of the Native American tradition of "using every part of the buffalo," I wonder if these two industries couldn't adopt that business model and combine resources. Their hours are complimentary, with RV sales occurring mostly during the day, and the adult-themed businesses picking up after sundown (or so I've been told). Both offer small rooms, and cater largely to men fantasizing about visiting scenic places.

In an effort to bring more diverse jobs to the region, perhaps we could coax our state government to offer tax incentives for these types of businesses to merge, thus freeing up half of the associated real-estate, which could in turn be used for new businesses. To expand the tax base, these additional businesses would ideally appeal to a new demographic; women, for instance.

But what business would be the perfect compliment? At first I thought of Curves Fitness Centers, yarn stores, or fabric shops, as they all have largely female clientele. More recently, however, I'm thinking that gun shops designed to specifically cater to the ladies might be ticket. I suspect that some women may look to firearms for protection because their men frequently disappear, while others may want to be armed for when unwanted hubbies reappear. I welcome your thoughts on how this idea might best serve the target audience we're shooting for.

Aside: Whew! I'm glad I got that off my chest. It was sort of an old-school Estimate, rife with sexism and violence! To make it up to those who may prefer my more recent, kinder, gentler themes, I'll finish up with a cute kid story.

Erik, who's now five-and-a-half, is a big fan of Star Wars. He's seen the original 1977 movie, and most of the next film (now referred to as Episodes 4 and 5). The other morning he was playing quietly when he asked Becca for some hot cocoa. She said she'd get it for him, and then got sidetracked, perhaps by Peter attempting to drag the rocking chair down the stairs.

When she passed through the living room twenty minutes later Erik inquired about the cocoa and she apologized, and then went to prepare it. When she handed it to him, he replied with his best Darth Vader imitation: "Do not fail me again."

Convulsive laughter brought her to her knees, appropriately.

While we can't promise to bring you to your knees, we hope to at least evoke a chortle or squeak when we return our old St. Paul hangout, O'Gara's Garage, on Thursday, May 26. We'll play an EARLY SHOW, with Auto Body music from 8:00 to 9:30, followed by Tony Ortiz. For $5 you can enjoy brand new ABE songs, great sound, lights created for purposes other than seasonal tree trimming, AND get home in time for a good night's sleep!

Please come and join us for the fun.

Love, Scott Yoho, Grand Pooh Bah, Knights of the Auto Order
More details and links at and
O'Gara's is at 164 Snelling Avenue North in St. Paul: 651.644.3333.

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