The Ministry of Cropaganda Presents the Official Newsletter of The Knights of The Auto Order
Volume II, Number 9 THE AUTO BODY ESTIMATE Episode XXXI, April '92

The next newsletter you receive will contain details as to where and when you will be able to obtain our debut CD and cassette. On an entirely related topic, I have recently been brainstorming as to how I could possibly earn some money. I thought about going into cosmetology, but I didn't think I could cut it. Next I wrote a positive thinking self-help book, but I don't think it's any good. Then I began to think that perhaps anthropology might be for me. My mind flashed back to an incident which could be the building block for my first thesis:

I was talking to a couple of rednecks in the parking lot of the Medina Ballroom when I noticed they both had pock-marked skin. This made me think of a few other redneck friends of mine and reflected that a large percentage of them had similar skin conditions. I began to wonder why this group seemed predisposed to this; was it their diet, the result of interbreeding, or what? As this thinking was going on, the bar was closing, and all the patrons were being herded out the door. Suddenly the parking lot was alive with dozens of pickup trucks over-accelerating and sending gravel flying all over the place...

Well, anthropology seemed too easy. Next I thought of a literary career. A friend of mine was telling me how much he liked "X" the other day and before I realized he was talking about a band I began to think about the alphabet. I think that "U" (you) and "V" (vee) have some major identity problems. First of all "W" (double you), has no "U"s in it, it's actually shaped more like a double vee. Next, if you look at inscriptions on old buildings, often on college campuses, you will see they often replaced the "U"s with "V"s. And then you have the Germans who ignore the "W" and pronounce it the same as "V". (Ever you ever heard a German say Volkswagon?) Doesn't all this kind of talk make me a man of letters? Apparently not.

My next attempt was linguistics. I have an interest in the evolution of slang. Holly and I have a friend, Nicole, who is 14 and attends Olsen Jr High in Bloomington. I listen to her to hear how young people talk. When she greets a friend she might say; "What's up, G?" The G is apparently short for gangster, and is apparently either a compliment or at least thought of as a positive moniker. I guess things haven't changed all that much over the years. I myself, being of elderly persuasion, might say "Gee, what's up?"

Then I remembered there's no money in academia, so I'm going to have to do the only thing I can do - play some gigs. The Auto Body Experience will play at the 400 Bar really soon - April 20th - we'll play from 9:00 to 11:00 and then Rural Electric will take the stage. Please come and join us. Next we're at the Fine Line on May 26 where again we'll play the first half of the night, this time with Joel Sales (of Spang A Lang fame). Finally, we'll be at the Cabooze on June 4th warming up Reynold's Remarkable Rhythm Cattle's CD Release Party. That's kind of far off, so please staple this card to your fridge or TV screen to remind you.

Thanks, Scott Yoho, Grand Pooh-Bar, Knights of The Auto Order