The Knights of the Auto Order Proudly Present: The Auto Body Estimate: Vol. II,
#73, June 2007
Every so often I’ll see someone do something that suggests they have no consideration for anyone else on the planet but themselves. This behavior seems pretty common on the freeway, but can happen anywhere, including the bank, the dry cleaners (or any place you need to stand in line), as well as in the White House and other top government offices.
What sort of world did these people grow up in where this behavior is acceptable? Perhaps the term “world” may provide an important clue. Maybe, like characters in a comic book, they were raised in an alternate reality, very similar our own, but not exactly the same. Like they might have had Sesame Street, and even the same Sesame Street songs and melodies, but the lyrics were slightly different.
What do you do when you see somebody cut in front of you and others in a long line? Becca and I have taken to quietly singing a little ditty written to the tune of Sesame Street’s “People in the Neighborhood” (sometimes we just hum the melody and think of the words):
Oh, I’m the only person in my universe
In my universe, In my u-ni-verse-oh
I’m the only person in my universe,
So the rest of you can go to hell.
We enjoy singing this and believe it offers a cathartic effect. I wanted to record it for the last Auto Body CD, but in the end I was too cheap to pay to license the Sesame Street music, so I had to write a whole new song on the topic, and the result was “Copernicus Was Wrong”.
Anyway, my thoughts turned to the “Universe” song when I recently read about the 65 million dollar pants. Have you heard about Roy Pearson? He’s a lawyer – AND an administrative law judge for the District of Columbia – whose pants were lost by a small dry cleaning service. Two years, and much legal wrangling later he was seeking $65,462,500 in damages. Really! I’m thinking most of that is for mental suffering, and I don’t doubt that for a minute. But think of the pants. They must have been REALLY great pants. At the very least they must have possessed magic powers as described in the Trip Shakespeare song “The Slacks”.
Bill Scherer possesses magic powers, but his are in his throat. I cannot speak to his pants. Bill can be heard singing at the end of “(Who took your Pipe) Mr. Potato Head”, our most popular recording (according to iTunes). Rumor has it that Bill will be joining us for a few songs when we return to the Eagles Club (2507 E 25th Street, Minneapolis) on Friday, July 13. We’ll play two sets starting a little after 9:00 PM, and expect Bill to hit the stage near the end of the first set.
Those of you who are better at managing calendars than I am may want to look ahead to Saturday, August 4, when we’ll perform as part of Twin Cities Public Television’s 50th Anniversary. It’s all free and in downtown Saint Paul at 172 E. 4th St. (between Jackson & Sibley). I suspect we’ll play between 3-5 PM but I’ll email the details as the date approaches.
If there’s any justice in the world I’ll also post upcoming gig information at www.autobodyexperience.com