The Knights of the Auto Order Proudly Present: The Auto Body Estimate: Vol. II, #61, November 2004
In the atmosphere of the impending election it seems that every possible issue for discussion has become completely polarized. In light of this it’s refreshing to find two disparate groups that have ANYTHING in common. I recently learned that both Catholics and Jews employ cantors as part of their religious services. Unfortunately this bond brands them both as heretics in my mind: no good Presbyterian would ever let a horse move that quickly in their place of worship!
Personally, the best thing to come out of the current election frenzy was the laugh I got when I realized a car with the “Say No to Bush” bumper sticker belonged to an openly gay co-worker. When I explained to him the childish humor I found in this he roared and said that particular meaning had never occurred to him.
Another popular bumper sticker reads "God Is Pro Life". While I don't necessarily doubt that, could the fact that God created free will suggest that He/She is also Pro Choice?
Personally I am guilty of divisive feelings towards Canada. I love the country and the people, but I get extremely frustrated with currency conversion AND translating miles to kilometers (and visa versa). Just as soon as I figure out how to convert distance, I convert currency using the wrong formula, and Stooge-esque hijinx ensue. My solution is this: the Canadians need to cut us a little slack on the money thing. Currently they ask for $.802 US dollars in exchange for one of their bucks. If they’d be willing to settle for $.62 US the conversion would be the same for miles OR moolah. Any failure to implement this plan could only be attributed to pure selfishness. Perhaps in return we could do something really nice for them, like starting a rumor that Celine Dion is actually from Iowa.
I’ve got another plan of dubious merit. I suggest you come hear the Auto Body Experience play at the Turf Club on Thursday, November 4th. I suspect we’ll start at 9:00 sharp and play one action-packed set. No matter WHAT happens on November second, I predict this gig will be a party: I think EVERYONE can celebrate a brief respite in the political bickering.
-Scott Yoho, Grand Pooh Bah, The Auto Body ExperienceReturn the Estimate Index...