The Knights of the Auto Order Proudly Present: The Auto Body Estimate: Vol. II, #52, October 2002
Fall is here. Soon we'll be wishing each other a Merry Kwanzaaramadanukah and making plans to attend Curtiss A's annual John Lennon Tribute. For those of you unfamiliar with this Twin Cities phenomenon, it's a long-standing annual tradition for Curt and his friends to perform a show of Lennon songs every December 8th. For my part I'm thinking about starting an annual Curtiss A Tribute Show where a bunch of bands either play Curtiss A songs, or a least try to style their hair like his. But first I have an even more pressing tribute project to tackle.
Like most of you I have repeatedly turned to Dolly Parton in my times of need, and the writing of this newsletter is no exception. When she, Emmylou Harris and Linda Ronstadt re-recorded Neil Young's "After The Gold Rush" for their Trio II album, Dolly improved the lyrics. If I recall correctly, she wanted to shift the emphasis from cannabis-scented space travel to a more sacred realm (I'm sure that collecting royalties on the new lyrics was the furthest thing from her mind). Her confidence that she could improve Mr. Young's lyrics has inspired me to follow in the steps of those feet that Dolly can only see in mirrors: I'm starting an AC/DC cover band where all the lyrics will be improved to contain sacred messages. Thus "You Shook Me All Night Long" will become "You Shook My Hand In Church", "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" will be "Godly Deeds Done Dirt Cheap", and "Whole Lotta Rosie" will be transformed into "Whole Lotta Rosary". Our version of "TNT" will rock as hard as the original, only we'll sing: "He's JHC (Christ!) He's Jesus Christ!" You get the idea. We're calling it JC/DC; watch for us at your local place of worship.
One of the challenges of JC/DC will be dealing with the extremely high volume levels required to reproduce the music; my ears are already a little suspect. One story has it that the Auto Body Experience band name actually originated from my poor hearing - I thought I heard Tom Hambleton say "Auto Body" when he actually said "Out Of Body". Similarly, for years I thought Adam Duritz was the lead singer of Accounting Crows. Most recently, when I heard our friends Mike and Yvonne talking about a leper skin rug ("It's one-third, no one half, no - seventy-five percent off") they were actually talking about Panthera pardus rather than the epidermis of someone exposed to Mycobacterium leprae.
How was I to know?
Speaking of unpleasant microorganisms, perhaps not all of you know that Kent Peterson has been playing percussion with The Auto Body Experience for some time now. He's good. You should come down to O'Gara's on Thursday, October 3rd (not September 27 as reported elsewhere) and hear him play: the ABE starts one long set at 9:00 PM. Actually speaking with Kent, however, is not for the timid - at our last O'Gara's gig Kent was overheard asking the following of a well-dressed young man: "New shoes? I thought so. Did they sell any men's shoes where you got those?"
Finally, I'm all for patriotism, but I wonder if things have gone a little too far when I see a "United We Stand" banner over a wall of urinals.
-Scott Yoho, Grand Pooh Bah, The Auto Body Experience
PS: Please note we have a new email address: firstname.lastname@example.org
Thursday, October 3 at O’Gara’s Garage - Snelling and Selby, St. Paul. We'll play longer one set starting at 9:00PM sharp. Contact O'Gara's at: 651-644-3333 or email@example.comReturn the Estimate Index...