The Knights of the Auto Order Proudly Present:
The Auto Body Estimate: Vol. II, #44, August 2000
As a child, were you ever told to "stick it where the sun don't shine"? Perhaps today's proliferation of web sites is the result of yesterday's kids taking this advice to heart. Maybe when Ed Gein misbehaved as a boy, his dad would threaten him with: "I'm gonna tan your hide!" You gotta be careful what you say. In light of the Columbine tragedy, journalists in particular need to take note. I was initially horrified the other day when I read: "30 Kids Eliminated In Spelling Bee".
Some blame what happened at Columbine on computer games or the movie industry, but these common scapegoats weren't the triggering effect. Do you know what those two troubled kids did before they went to school and shot everyone? Fact: they went bowling. Fact: Lee Harvey Oswald bowled. Fact: rock group Camper Van Beethoven wrote the song "Take The Skinheads Bowling" and then mysteriously disbanded. I've already said too much.
Want to hear something even scarier? I'm told that a recent issue of Gentleman's Quarterly (one look at my wardrobe confirms I've never read it) demonstrates a frightening connection between cheerleading and Republican politics, and includes old photos of George W. Bush, Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott, Ronald Reagan and Dwight D. Eisenhower in school cheerleading outfits. Given the choice between being governed by an ex-cheerleader or an ex-pro wrestler starts to make the later seem a little less absurd, doesn't it?
Although I write that you need to be careful what you say, I still try to make light of horrific events. Worse yet, I know better: Becca and I recently ran into her old friend Brian. In the course of chatting he told of how his brother had moved to California, and of a specific evening when a couple from work came to visit he and his wife for dinner. Early in the night the guest husband asked Brian's brother where he was from, and he jokingly replied: "Wisconsin - you know, home of Jeffrey Dahmer..." as the wife turned white and the husband started waving his arms in warning: the wife's brother was actually one of Dahmer's victims. How do you quickly change the topic and pretend that didn't happen?
Speaking of things that people with good taste should never let happen, the Auto Body Experience will be playing live on St. Cloud's KVSC (88.1 FM) on Monday, January 22 at 10 PM and simulcast on UTVS TV. Their signal reaches the northern Twin Cities suburbs, so give it a shot, er, try to tune it in. Next we'll return to Christiansen's Big V in St. Paul on Friday, February 16, where "Things", a jazz group featuring ABE members Max Wendt and Jim Guckenberg, will warm us up. We'll go on around 10: 00 PM, and The Ether Monkeys will finish off, eh, play last.
Finally, I'd like to wish you all a belated Kwanzmas Ramadanukah.
-Scott Yoho, Grand Pooh-Bah, Knights Of The Auto Order
The Auto Body Experience
1367 Palace Avenue
St. Paul, MN 55105-2555
Monday, January 22:
KVSC FM 88.1 and UTVS TV in St. Cloud, Minnesota: 320-255-3066
Friday, February 16:
Christiansen's/Big V's -
Just east of the corner of University and Snelling in St. Paul: 651-645-8472
PS: I'd be tickled pink if you reviewed our latest CD on the Amazon site:
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