The Ministry of Cropaganda Presents the Official Newsletter of The Knights of The Auto Order
Vol. II, Num. 12 The Auto Body Estimate Episode XXXIV, Nov '92
I was lost in the airport parking lot the other day and I was wishing that they named different areas of the lot after animals, like they used to do in shopping malls; I guess they stopped doing this because they discovered the health risks of Hippo Section. Oh. Holly just informed me I must have been thinking of lipposuction - I guess that was really stretching it for a joke - but I understand those marks can be removed. Speaking of cosmetic surgery, whoever thinks up the name of these procedures is obviously oblivious to marketing; can you imagine trying to convince an early prospective recipient to allow you to perform rhinoplasty to their already problematical proboscis? Couldn't they have called it LizTaylorplasty?
People often ask me the origin of my last name, Yoho. Until Dave Polachek recently took a trip out west, I assumed it was a pirate name. However, Big Dave returned from Yoho Nat'l Park with a AA Trip-Tick which explained everything: "The word 'Yoho' is an exclamation of wonder or astonishment in the Cree Indian tongue. Of the many areas deserving of the term, the Yoho Valley is famous for it's waterfalls." Given that "an exclamation of wonder or astonishment" is not necessarily a compliment, I think it suits me.
I read somewhere where a guy said that life is an enigma. I'll agree, but isn't it spelled E-N-E-M-A? Speaking of television personalities, what about this Cy Spalding guy? Am I the only person who's suspicious that his name rhymes with balding? At any rate, I have it from a reliable inside source that his company utilizes Chia Pet technology. At least he has a real job. The other day I heard someone say they thought "working musician" was a pretty good oxymoron. I can neither confirm or deny this, but I can better it. Recently I saw a sign for Vacation Church School.
One of my many "day" jobs involves playing guitar on TV and radio commercials. Awhile back I was on my was to a 9:00 recording session when the producer met me in the lobby. He told me that the power was out to the building and that the session probably wasn't going to start until 11:00 or so, and that he was going to take me out to breakfast in the meantime. Two hours later we started working on the commercial - in which a certain power company was letting consumers know that this certain power company helps us to relax because we know their power is reliable.
On to Auto Body News: Our CD is spreading like wildfire! It's getting airplay in exotic places like Mount Vernon, Iowa! (Thanks to KRNL.)"They Whack Balls" has been played on the Dr. Demento Show which is broadcast on +180 radio stations across the country. And we've got some gigs coming up too!
Friday, November 6th at O'Gara's Garage w/ Tequila Mockingbird & The Coolies. We'll play 9:15 to 10:15; Snelling at Selby in St. Paul. 644-3333.
Thursday, November 19th at The Cabooze w/ Reynold's Remarkable Rhythm Cattle & Real Free World. We're the 2nd band - I'll Guess we'll start around 10:30. See you at 917 Cedar on the West Bank. 338-6425.
Thursday, December 3rd at The Bunker w/Sam I Am. We'll start around 9:00. Find it at 761 N. Washington Av, Mpls. 338-8188.Return the Estimate Index...