The Ministry of Cropaganda Proudly Presnets
The Auto Body Estimate
Volume II, Number 1, Episode XXIII. Offer may be prohibited by law. Parts and labor extra.
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To the uninitiated of you, the Auto Body Experience is a new rock group featuring Tom Hambleton (keyboards & vocals), David King (drums), Pete Linman (bass & vocals), and Scott Yoho (guitar & vocals). This group attempts to combine witty lyrics with pop vocals and occasionally challenging music. Whether or not we accomplish any of the above is a subject open for debate. We are currently finishing a six song demo at the beautiful Salmagundi Studios in Northfield, Minnesota, which will eventually be part of our debut CD. In an effort to convince people to come see our group, as well to provide me with a opportunity to vent my spleen, we will be sending these letters out in a semi-bi-month-quarterly, haphazard fashion. And now, on with my spleen.

In order to make this letter seem more appropriate for the holidays, I've decided to try my hand at shameless marketing. To that end, here's a list of fine products I'm sure you'll want to purchase in time for the gift giving season.

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Prince O' Piece Puzzle

An inspirational and educational gift for the kiddies. Featuring a stunning likeness of rock musician Prince, this 100 piece jigsaw puzzle will keep 'em busy for hours -- looking for the piece with his belly button on it, which incidentally was air-brushed out to make his chest look taller. Great for kids, shut-ins, Scout meetings...

OUT OF STOCK

Christian Gloves

Let the world know your faith! Each glove is embossed with 4" letters spelling out "Christian". This product has been immortalized in song:

"They will know we are Christians by our gloves, buy our gloves..."

OUT OF STOCK

Subscriptions to Repenthouse Magazine

This new publication features interviews and photo essays on and about ex-centerfold models who have joined the nunnery. Includes gardening tips!

ACT NOW - PRODUCTION MAY BE LIMITED!

The Crops/Wipe Hands On Pants

(Note: The Crops included Scott "Fender Bender" Yoho, of Auto Body Experience fame) This acclaimed cassette will warm the heart of any scrooge on your list. And if it doesn't, just try to sue the band...

$8.00 + $2 shipping, handling, & graft

The Crops/Debut Album

Still available on cassette and LP. Thanks to a special bulk purchase from Flying Fish records, who are (in another belly-up move) dumping all vinyl, we can now offer the LPs at below original dealer cost!

tape $8.00 + $2 shipping, handling, & graft

LP $3.00 + $2 shipping, handling, & graft

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On the world view, there is one change in Eastern Europe that never should have happened. This year, for the first time since WWII, the Poles went to the polls, or the polls went to the Poles. Either way, it should be stopped. Other upcoming events which probably should be stopped include the following gigs:

Saturday, December 22nd at Fernandos
1501 E Lake Street / 721-2107 Reynold's Remarkable Rhythm Cattle warms us up.

Friday, January 18th at The Cabooze
917 Cedar Ave / 338-6425. We'll be warming up Trax's Farm Accident, so come down early!

Monday, January 21st Live on KVSC Radio in St. Cloud
88.1 FM (Your Sound Alternative) 9:00 PM. Keep your eyes open for an upcoming St. Cloud gig!

Wednesday, January 30th at Crossroads
26th at Nicollet / 872-0405. With Reynold's Remarkable Rhythm Cattle. This night we play first; so we'd love to see you around 9:00PM.

Remember, bar owners and mangers are shifty-eyed and untrustworthy varmints, so it always pays to call ahead and confirm a gig before you kennel the dog and leave home!

Love, Scott, Gizmo and The Experienced